Autism, ADHD & Identity: Unmasking Isn’t Easy

Have you ever hidden parts of yourself to fit in? For autistic and ADHD people, this can become a survival strategy—but at what cost?

For neurodivergent people, masking—hiding traits to ‘fit in’—can feel automatic and it often starts in childhood. Many neurodivergent people learn early on that their natural way of communicating, moving, or processing the world is seen as ‘different’ or ‘too much.’ Over time, this can lead to deep exhaustion, burnout, and even a disconnection from their true identity.

But what happens when you start to unmask? Unmasking isn’t about suddenly dropping all coping mechanisms—it’s about making space for small moments of self-acceptance. It could mean allowing yourself to stim in a way that feels good, being honest about your social limits, or advocating for your needs in work and relationships. It’s a process of gently peeling back the layers of expectation and rediscovering who you are underneath.

The journey to unmasking can feel vulnerable, but it’s also freeing. With self-compassion and the right support, you can move towards a life that feels more authentic—one where you no longer have to shrink yourself to fit in.

I make reasonable adjustments for neurodivergent clients, whether that be sensory ( for online or in-person sessions ) or taking into account different styles of processing information and emotions.